What is IFS?

IFS or Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based therapy that views humans as being made up of a system of multiple protective and wounded parts, led by the Self. The Self is at the core of every human and it’s who we truly are. The Self cannot be damaged and knows how to heal and lead. Separate from the Self are parts. Parts are often in conflict with each other and take on extreme roles. Some parts are considered protective parts and serve to either control our behaviors (manager parts) or provide distractions from trauma, wounds and vulnerability (firefighter parts). Other parts carry the wounds of past hurts and neglect (exiles). The exiles are often stuck in the past and can cause some troublesome symptoms in their attempts to get your attention in order to heal. For example, you may have a part of you who is a “perfectionist” and strives for flawlessness in every task. You may also have a part who procrastinates because it fears that a task may be imperfect. There could also be a part who does not care about these tasks at all, and watches shows until the wee hours of the night. These parts may all be protecting a wounded exile who was criticized in childhood and was taught it wasn’t good enough that causes you to feel ashamed. Protective parts often can get extreme and rigid in their roles in an effort to keep us safe.

In IFS, we strive to get the Self back in the driver’s seat and help the protective parts (who have been running the show) become more flexible in their jobs by healing the wounded parts they protect. It’s believed that once the wounded parts are no longer burdened by the past, the protective parts will not have to be so extreme in their roles. Protective parts will then have an opportunity to return to the valuable states they had prior to taking on these extreme jobs. Using the previous example, if the child who was criticized is helped, the “perfectionist” may feel more comfortable with minor flaws and seek to motivate you, instead of criticizing your every move.

How Does it Work?

We start out identifying a part who you may want to get to know better. We then work to learn more about the part and get it to trust the Self. Common information gathered includes how the part shows up in the body, what happens when it is in the “driver’s seat”, when it started doing this job and why, how it is trying to help, and what it fears would happen if it did not do this job. After forming a good relationship with the part, we offer the opportunity for it to move out of its role by allowing us to work with the exile it protects.

After working with the protective parts, we move towards helping the exile (wounded part) “unburden”. We have your Self witness, listen and respond to the exile’s experience, making sure that the part feels fully understood, respected, accepted, and loved. From there, the part tells the Self what was needed at the time and the Self is able to offer a “do-over” and give the part what it didn’t receive at the time of the wound. After this is done, the exile is invited to release the burdens (the painful memories, thoughts, feelings, body sensations, images, etc.) it has been carrying in whichever ways feels right. We then invite this part to move from the past back into the present and help it find a new role. Afterwards, we invite the protector parts to meet the healed part and help them find new roles as well.

Frequently Asked Questions

• What types of issues can IFS treat?

  • IFS has been shown to help many different conditions. Most popularly, IFS is known for its success in working with complex trauma and PTSD, dissociative disorders, eating disorders, depression and other mood disorders, anxiety, and more. IFS has also been found to have success helping individuals struggling with various forms of medical illnesses and pain.

• Does this mean I have multiple personality disorder or DID?

  • The short answer is no. It is absolutely normal to have parts that feel different ways about situations and that respond to situations with different actions. Have you ever felt multiple ways about a situation? Maybe there’s been a time when part of you wanted to go out with friends and another part of you want to stay home? That’s a common (and milder) example of parts being in conflict.

• How long will this take?

  • Length of treatment varies from client to client and fluctuates based off past experiences. Often it takes a few sessions to get used to this style of therapy and can take anywhere from one session to multiple sessions for the protective parts to allow us to work with an associated exile.